In India, there is a common saying that women are women’s worst enemies. This article is about this truth. Women are not going to like me for it while men will be secretly happy to read it. But how can you find out which woman has the qualifications of a being an enemy?
There are feminists and then there are cheap imitations whose toxicity is embarrassing.
To make things really simple women come in three packages.
Feminists are the original masterminds who see beyond the suffocation of this paradigm. They are not just asking for women’s rights. They are asking for men’s rights, children’s rights, basically the rights of every kind of person to live with dignity, safety and freedom. Feminists may or may not be formally educated. They may or may not have large influences. They may or may not be able to write well or lecture their thoughts eloquently. You may find one in an old grandma or a young teenager.
You can often recognise a feminist because of her impact. Her actions contain love for humanity not just for women. Her actions display a balanced hand for both men and women and any other gender in between. Her treatment is fair. Her ask is for a better future for everyone, not just women. You will find her using her anger as a tool to transform toxicity into inner power.
She questions her own limited thinking and agendas. She observes all angles. She invites all perspectives. A feminist is never biased. So if you know someone who hates men, (unless traumatised by men) you aren’t talking to a feminist. You are talking to a fauxnist.
I invented this word to represent the category of women who are cheap imitations of the feminists.
There has to be a term that defines all those women who embarrass feminism and those who represent it.
How do you recognise a fauxnist?
It’s very easy. She wants freedom without contributing freedom back to others. She wants to enjoy the benefits of inner or outer freedom but breaches its precepts. She violates other’s dignity, grace and rights. She demands attention all the time while she hardly pays any attention to the dignity of others. She is oblivious. She is highly unfair, biased and rigid in her point of views. Someone who never understands the other end of the perspective.
She doesn’t just hate men (except the one who directly fulfils her needs) but she displays bigotry for anyone.
When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said: "Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.”
She was referring to all women. Not all women uphold others rights. Some just pretend they do.
Feminists are women conscious of the fact that women are wise creatures and must have the inner freedom and outer freedom to express that wisdom. In India women like Savitri Bai Phule are regarded as the mother of Indian feminism. A social reformist who brought education to women in India. She is regarded as the first female teacher of India. She played an important role in improving women's rights, a classic example of a woman who paves way for another.
To be a feminist you have to work on gaining your emotional wisdom. To be a fauxnist you dance with your inferiority complexes and enjoy your bigotry.
Feminists are dangerous for social unconsciousness and unaware actions.
They build people around them. They nourish themselves along with being selfless. They are clear people who pave way for a balanced, calmer and more peaceful world.
Fauxnists manipulate emotions and create toxic situations. They deplete people around them. They are selfish, eccentric and poisonous. Fauxnists weave a restless and chaotic world.
Between the extremes of feminists and fauxnists are all other types of women but the spectator women dominate the scene.
Spectator women are like a silent army who get things done but won’t take pivotal decisions. They go on contributing to their homes, families, offices and the world at large but stay away from change and transformation. While some of them understand the role women play and why it’s important that women have inner and outer freedom. Others don’t understand this. Some believe that women are important but need to be regulated. Some have accepted their fate. Some are learning while many are unlearning the burdens they have inherited.
Aditi wanted a handsome, loyal and loving man to be her partner. She started her journey with this Inner Clarity Master Program Freedom From Toxic Femininity and has stayed on for years enjoying her evolution.
With me, Aditi had to turn inwards for love. Instead of looking out for a Mr perfect, she had to look within to find the woman she truly is.
This is what she wrote to me one day.
“I believed that I was a feminist. I am a Mumbai born. Fierce, free and powerful. That’s our brand I think. But your work has taught me something precious about Feminism. First, it taught me to recognise if I am practising actual feminism or its toxic cousin. Then it taught me various nuances of the new clear woman, basically being a whole woman. Not only is that deeply healing and honouring for me as a woman but I think it’s transformative because it cuts away the trauma and chaos that women come with. A single new clear woman can radiate an ocean of clarity, effortlessly. Thus transforming the world effortlessly. At this level, you have taken the hard work out of feminism. Of course, we still have to fight for women’s rights. I wanted a loyal and loving man to walk with me but I never actually looked at myself. What could I be to a man like this? You taught me this, which means I now know your secret of why you have such a powerful man with you ;).”
People usually get turned off by wise women, especially the ones who yield a transformative power.
Women and power. Women and clarity. Women and change are things that were kept separate for 3000 years. It’s difficult for the world to pair these ideas. The world has taken its time to digest the role of clear women and their wisdom. It will take some more time. But while the world takes time to change its belief systems, let’s sift the sheep from the wolves.
There are feminists and then there are fauxnists. Who are you and who are you dealing with?
A fan of your soul & its strength
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