I am fat and I really want to rise above body shaming- can you help

Haha, the one thing i can teach you very well is how to be a relaxed fat woman.  

Once my Gazal teacher described his admiration for Sitara Devi, the Kathak legend. He said ‘when she put those huge thighs on the stage, it set ablaze. I cannot describe the strength, grit and beauty of her body. It meant business.’

Even though inside of me I knew that beauty has nothing to do with the body size but I had also inherited my generation's inferiority complex about fat thighs and all that drill. 

Turns out he wasn’t speaking alien.

𝐈𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲.

In generations before mine men and women speak of beauty in terms of bounty. They didn’t fat shame a woman. Instead, a fat woman to them is bountiful. Blessed and nurtured.

𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐮𝐬?

Ironically enough we are busy reworking representation. We are calling it including ‘curvy’ models in media. We are working so hard about something that is so natural.

𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐲.

And after childbirth plain fat. But fat isn’t ugly to these wise cultures. Fat is only one of the ways the body reacts to life and what’s happening in it.

The only exceptions are fat garnered purposely from stress eating to accumulate emotional insulation and insistent media benchmarks.

Otherwise fat isn’t dangerous or unhealthy. In generations, before mine fat, women are healthy enough to beat the wits out of us. Their bones are sturdy at 90. Their hair is shiny. Their hearts are fierce.

I have experienced many stages in my life. From a paper-thin teenager who was advised to eat more to a curvaceous sexy young adult to a moderately plump to a post-birth plain fat woman.

I know from my experience of body changes and inner work that fat isn’t the problem. 

𝐅𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲.

Or don’t find love. Or your dreams don’t materialise. Your spouse doesn’t find you attractive (unless the spouse is that vain). Fat is only an excuse for the issues that run deeper.

In the Deprivation Triade we cover up the wounds of cultural appropriation with a suffocating illusion of sexy.

True relaxation with shape, size and volume of our body comes when we are in contact with our inner clarity. Our relationship with our weight does not reflect on the weighing scale, it reflects on our soul and her journey. 

Let's have some fun ladies! 

𝐔𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐆𝐞𝐬𝐮

𝐀 𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 & 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡