I have been deeply hurt by my mother- help me not to hate her
Aug 17, 2020
Our mothers, the baby boomers as we call their generation, saw the rise of individual and collective freedom that catapulted into a lifestyle.
They stood at the cusp of a paradigm shift. Some of them are still standing at that cusp. Some dove in, into illusionary freedom that seduced them. Some got lost forever. Some found themselves and some arrived at an envious level of peace with themselves.
The majority of women, however, kept standing at the cusp, unable to let go of the traditional gender roles, convenient prejudices and the cultural settings.
These women who are our mothers didn’t come with a manual of emotional wisdom to handle this massive change of culture. It just landed in their laps without or without their permission or even participation.
These women had to fight one change at a time. Tearing down the tapestry of their own identity. They had to adapt and adapt they did. Their whole life has been about continuous adaptation.Those who did not, have landed into a conflict zone with us, the generations that won’t compromise our inner and outer freedom.
The world for them has been a whirlpool of constant change and the current speed of change is a challenge for anyone. Our mothers are soaking up its hypertension.
Continuous adaptation has worn them out. They are exhausted. Even though they don’t show it, their emotional health gives away their fatigue. Some have turned headstrong. Some have become fragile. Others are at varying degrees of compulsive anxious.
So many of us are desperate to heal our mother’s pains. I know I am one of those desperate kids.
In this age when the joy of living and self-care is mainstream narrative, it hurts us to see our mothers hurting. We worry about them. We want to help them.
What I learnt in my own journey is this. Healing our mothers doesn’t happen by taking on their pain. It doesn’t happen by becoming their parent. It certainly doesn’t happen according to our expectations and conveniences.
To heal your mother, you have to walk your own journey of healing. When you awaken. She is watching. When you fall in love with yourself. She is watching. When you heal. She is watching. When you come upon your own inner clarity. She is watching. She is watching just like you watched her when you were growing up. When she was the Wonder Woman of your reality. Now it’s your turn. Be your own superhero because examples work louder than preaching.
Don’t just give her a fish to eat. Teach her to fish. But teach her by walking your own talk.
Be an example of an absolutely clear being. An example of self-care, self-love and self-trust.
Be an example of honest relationships and integrity of dealing. Be an example of abundance beyond the accumulation of money. Be an example of inclusivity and bold decisions. Be an example of the fun and ease of change.
She may not change at all or she may change beyond your expectations.
By witnessing your ease with evolution, you gift her a blueprint for life beyond the emotional struggle. She may not be able to make the changes right away. She may even die emotionally unfulfilled but she will be reborn a wiser, bolder and empowered person. A force to reckon with. That is your real gift to your mother.
Andrea was worried sick about her mother. All she wanted was peace for her mother's aching heart. I did not have that.
I give aids for your own journey first. With me, Andrea had to turn inwards. She began her journey with Inner Clarity Master Program.
She found it difficult to believe that her Journey to Awaken her own Absolute Clarity will have any impact on her mother. This is what Andrea says “ when my mother changed because I stepped into my own inner clarity, it awoke a magic that I was not aware of. Nothing was spoken to my mother but she began to relax as if impacted by an invisible telepathic network. A magic that I understood later should be taught to us much earlier in life. In close relationships we waste so much time in interpersonal conflict arising out of love and care. I stopped wasting our time by trying to save her and stepped into the ease of a different model of reality that UG shows you. The one beyond the cosmic patterns of toxicity that keep parents and children tied up in a swirl of emotional trauma. Help yourself to help your mother.”
In the Deprivation Triade you are made to believe that you have to save your parents like they saved you once. But that’s a toxic cycle of dependency. You never see their real power and they never truly see yours.
It’s time to break this redundant pattern and shine the light of truth for your mother.
Udumbara Gesu
A fan of your soul & its strength
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