I feel resistant to anyone with authority - why so?Nov 09, 2020
The problem lies in the fact that we were never taught the crucial distinction between being authoritative and being an authoritarian.
Not every strong-willed person is an authority. They can be plain egoistic, stuck in their own bottleneck. Not every authority is a strong personality. I have met mystics, inventors and homemakers whose inner power makes you bow down to them but their demeanour is gentle. It also means that not every strong personality is an authoritarian, a common assumption.
An authoritarian is suppressive in nature. An authoritative is benevolent in nature. An authoritarian is autocratic, dominating, dogmatic and undemocratic. An authoritative on the other hand is authentic, trustworthy and inclusive.
How can you distinguish between a suppressive authority and a benevolent authority?
It’s clear that a suppressive authority is driven by power. It has a single mission, which is to maintain control. To never let the status quo change.
A benevolent authority is driven by empathy and regard. Its single mission is inclusive progress, peace and clarity.
A benevolent authority is never engaged in petty. They are more interested in solutions, goals, results and expansion. They are focused on breaking glass ceilings. Moving past prescribed boundaries into a progressive and inclusive adventure. They have a deeper meaning to their lives that’s why they don’t indulge in emotional stupidity.
When we observe countries like India, especially outside the big cities, we find a misplaced sense of rebellion.
Fed up of life long domination from the authoritarians, people invest in causeless rebellion. Most of this rebellion is useless because it is never truly directed to an authoritarian but often towards a benevolent authoritative figure.
The sad truth of our societies is that most grown-up people do not have the mental and emotional maturity to distinguish between a benevolent authority and an authoritarian.
Knowing this distinction is crucial for the rebel. An unnecessary rebellion burns you out, leaving you too exhausted to progress. If prolonged, it can make you emotionally bankrupt, stuck in childhood traumas. You react in the same patterns despite a remarkable difference in your age, circumstances and locations. Basically, you deprive yourself of emotional wisdom, which should come naturally with the progress of your biological age.
A causeless rebellion also drives the rebel straight into stagnation.
There is no inner growth because you are constantly triggered by those who embody inner growth. If you don’t know how to handle a good authority from a dominating one, you will block your own inner and outer progress.
You cannot peacock your way out of life. A blocked person is a stagnated person. A stagnated person becomes a redundant person.
You may have a dominating family member or boss. Look closely, is it domination or is it a no-fuss, cut to the chase benevolent authority at work whose clarity subconsciously triggers your chaotic style?
Look at your triggers.
Examine if your triggers and your biological age match? Should they still be together? Examine who you are prosecuting? Is it fair and does it do any good to you?
I was often subjected to outbursts and tantrums, especially from the causeless rebels. As a spiritual person, my nature is to open my arms to 'everyone'. As a woman with an absolutely clear personality, I had to learn to draw boundaries. With boundaries, things have become better for me personally. I am not the epicentre of attacks anymore. But then the funny thing is that the people who throw tantrums at you also need you. They don’t like boundaries. Boundaries trigger them. And thus a vicious cycle keeps them engaged.
My boundaries help me for sure but they help the seekers more. Boundaries are needed until the seeker has imbibed a fair share of emotional wisdom. Once that's done, the seeker naturally realises the depth of compassion a benevolent authority projects.
A fan of your soul & its strength